Dear Constant Reader,

I’d like to speak with you. But I feel foolish, sitting here in Brooklyn, as I am my only audience.

Should I just talk to myself? “Hi Evan, you’re hungry and cold. Hurry the hell up.”

Or I could address some future multitude: “I hearby set out to preserve my fantasies and criticisms for all eternity.”

At least I won’t start with the dreaded, “I’m writing this blog to <insert overly earnest adverb here> be heard.” (Though what makes that line any worse?)

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